Choices Matter During These Pivotal Times

Four days ago I was sitting aboard a plane, blissed out and ready to head home after one of the most profound meditation retreats I have ever been on.

A woman clumsily stumbles in smacking her bags all over the place and announces in a bellowing voice, "I'M SO DRUNK!!" This was my seat mate.

In that very moment I smiled and made the choice to practice what I know.
I put in my earbuds, closed my eyes, went inwards, breathed, and allowed my heart to radiate outwards.

After a while, I intuitively knew the energy had shifted. When I looked at her, this lovely canary was more relaxed and ready to sing.

She let me know that she had a terrible vacation at a dingy resort, and that her flight back home to NY with another airline was suddenly cancelled an hour ago...all because "the Universe is fucking with her." (her words).

I chose to listen with zero judgment and an open heart...and then I asked her a question that I intuitively knew was invited.

Me: "What's really upsetting you?"

It all poured out..."Covid has made traveling so shitty. I used to travel all the time! That was my escape. But traveling sucks now. There's so much collective anxiety and shit in the air. I can feel all of it all the time. It's so disturbing! And I can't stand my job. I work in finance. I hate my clients and everyone I work with. I'm constantly burning shit to remove their terrible energy...I don't even know what I'm doing in finance except making a ton of money, but it's not making me happy. I've gotten very far in my career and I'm considered "successful" but I'm at the point where I'm turning down promotions because I simply don't care. I don't care about this stuff anymore. I went to F.I.T. for fuck's sake. I'm a creative person! But I don't even know how to get back to that."

Me: "Ooooh boy. This is a lot. How are you handling all of this?"

Her: "Oh God. I drink. I smoke. I even brought cocaine back into the picture as if I'm in my 20's."

Me: "So you're numbing out to cope and survive..."

Her eyes suddenly changed. I was watching something cog the wheels from turning in her mind, like a pathway suddenly short circuited. It's as if she's heard this or realized this for the first time. I watched this woman sober up in front of me.

Her: "I don't know what to else to do. I'm paralyzed and I don't even know where to begin"... and the tears started to run.

Me: "Well, as long as you continue resisting what you're actually feeling and numbing out, you'll never find out what else there is. It genuinely feels to me like you're at a turning point and ready for a change. But you'll never tune in to your own personal guidance or intuition on what steps you can take if you're numb and avoiding. You'll stay paralyzed not even realizing that you're actually at a precipice.
At some point, you're going to have to ask yourself how much longer can you actually go on feeling miserable? How much longer can you resist feeling all the emotions that are actually running through you? How much longer can you wake up in the morning and know that you hate your life? How much longer you can go on not feeling like yourself? Because I know this isn't really you. And how much longer can you abuse your body? Because rest assured, even though you are using all of these numbing agents, there's still a serious impact that all of this has on your body and your health...whether you feel it or not.
You are on the path to a slow and painful death. And I get it. I've been there to an extent. I've burnt myself out. I've tried numbing out to emotions I didn't want to feel. I've tried surviving a job that I outgrew. I tried living life out of alignment for whatever reasons, and it sucked! But, I had to get good and done with it. I had to get to the point of maximum frustration and "doneness" before I officially let go of my pattern (addiction to) numbness, pain, fear, and suffering. Looking back, I'm actually very grateful for the frustration I felt because it was the catalyst for my change. It motivated me to make different choices and create an intentional life...a purpose and service driven life that is meaningful AND healthy. And I haven't looked back since I did that 6 years ago.

Her: "I can relate to that. I actually do feel very close to the end of this chapter. And I do feel like there's something else brewing. I feel change is coming."

Me: "It's going to take different choices to actually get there."

Her face brightened up and she smiled. Something clicked. It became less overwhelming and more practical. And she was far more empowered.

Her: "What do you do for work?"

Me: "I'm a catalyst for healing and transformation."

Her: "Wow. I believe that. That must be very rewarding. You may not believe me, but we actually do similar things. I listen to people and I advise them. I can feel their energy and know what they need to hear. I don't even remember half of the things that I say, but people thank me all the time...even from many years ago."

Me: "I do believe that. But I'd love to know what you've been saying lately. Here's my dealer's number...I'll hook you up?
And for the record, the Universe wasn't fucking with you by cancelling your flight and placing you in the seat next to me. I would call that major course correction. That which your heart and soul also chose and cooperated with. You're getting very close and ready to create a different life."

It was fascinating to see her tone of voice and her perspective change so quickly. She started to share all the wonderful things that occurred on her vacation. We continued to connect and make each other laugh the rest of the way home...and we both left that plane lit up, with full hearts.

There are many points to this conversation. Instead of rolling my eyes and judging her, I chose to open my heart and listen. Instead of being a victim and fearing that all my retreat bliss would now go away, I chose to stay in my power and share. Instead of coming from my ego with the need to save or fix her, I chose to trust my intuition and come from sincerity. I chose to engage with her from a different energetic place.
As far her choices...She choose to open up and share. She chose to share the impact of the collective on her (which affects all of us). She chose to wake up to herself. And...according to her texts yesterday morning, she is also starting to make a series of different choices in her life.

ALL of these choices are available to all of us....we just forget.

I cannot even count how many conversations I have had with people of this nature lately. This is happening on a collective level.

For those of you who are in a similar place, know that we are currently on the tides of change. And I would love to see you come through in a healthy and sound way.

You don't have to navigate this alone. You don't have to numb out to the intensity, or harm yourself. You don't have to remain miserable in what's familiar because of your fear of the unknown, or not knowing how to get there.

There is support available to you. You just need to choose it.