A Tool for the Difficult Ones

Recently, I had an interaction with a person who can easily be labelled as "difficult." It reminded me that this is a likely occurrence for many of us, and even more likely during the holiday season.  Sometimes they come in the form of a stranger, a coworker, a boss, a neighbor, a client, or a family member...and sometimes it can be us...ourselves! 

That same night, in divinely perfect timing, a friend and fellow light-worker happened to call me and reminded me of a practice I learned while I was in Hawaii 8 years ago.  As soon as she mentioned it, I knew in my heart and my entire being that this was exactly what I was meant to do.

The practice is called Ho'oponopono...an ancient Hawaiian prayer to help "neutralize" the energy between 2 parties giving you an opportunity to clean things up, an opportunity to make things "right," and also gives you the added power of accountability.

It's a "simple" practice which consists of 4 phrases.  Simple because it is 4 short sentences.  Not so simple because sometimes we do not want to, or are not ready or willing to grant mercy, compassion, pardon or forgiveness (to ourselves or the other party) based on the severity of the circumstances that have occurred.

Visualize and feel these words coming from your heart to the other person, or from your heart to you, if it is your relationship with yourself is that is in need of mending.

"I Love You.

I'm Sorry.

Please Forgive Me.

Thank You."

The key is repetition, putting it into "practice," and genuinely connecting to your will. 

While I consciously chose to do this practice, moments of resistance would come up in the form of hilarious childish voices pouting away... "I don't wanna! She doesn't deserve this!  I don't mean any of this!!"  But the adult in me did mean it, did want it, and did choose it.  This is expected and what happens when you grow, change, or challenge yourself to do something different.  I was breaking an old habit by choosing to respond in a different way, and my old wiring had something to say about it!  I breathed, and reassured everything in me that all will be well, and sure enough...it is.

If you know you will be seeing someone who is challenging for you, try doing this practice proactively beforehand.  Of course it is something that can be done in the moment, and afterwards, but it is much easier to practice when you’re not “in it.”  It can prime the vibe and set the tone of the relationship in a different way so it’s not the same conflicting dynamic that you’re used to experiencing leaving you upset or disappointed. 

As we all know, forgiveness is not the easy route and cannot be forced or feigned. Forgiveness is indeed a process, which starts with a choice...a willingness...which then creates an opening. It is a path that will eventually take you higher and set you free on all levels.  It is a choice for our own mental peace, release of pain and healing in our bodies on all levels, for our spiritual growth, and for a loving reality.

You may be pleasantly surprised at the results.

My wish for you is that you are.